My first born says to my second child, “No Cc! This year don’t make me a gift. I want you to go and buy me a gift.” Offended for my poor, middle child I immediately asked, “D, do you understand? You told her that her gifts aren’t good enough?” To which D replied, “No! I’m not saying that! I just don’t think she can make me anything that I actually want.” My third born then poured water all over the floor and so the conversation ended. That, coupled with a major melt down over Advent Calendar entitlement helped me see the family needs gratitude help. Christmas is full of gifts, joy, overwhelm, stress, commitments, sustainability concerns, and family. We need something to ground us and guide us this holiday season. Gratitude is the key to great gifting and a happier holiday. Learn why and how gratitude can gift holiday stress relief to your whole family this holiday season. (Psst, if you are here for the free printables, they are spread throughout the article, in context, but you can also jump to the bottom of the page to find them all in one place.)
One time, while tooling around Target, trying not to lose my mind by way of incessant requests, I said something brilliant. “D! If you are never thankful you will NEVER be happy!” As those words fell out of my mouth beside the toothpaste selection, I realized gratitude must become a family guide post. Gratitude is a major key to happiness. In college, I had the chance to help facilitate research on the topic of gratitude. No, doubt that is why the shopping cart wisdom popped out. We defined gratitude as “appreciation for the good things in one’s life, often involving a recognition of the source of those benefits, and a positive emotional response to receiving them (Witvliet, 2018).” The study found that people with higher levels of gratitude had higher levels of both hope and happiness. A second study discovered that gratitude practices can enhance “present well-being and future optimism” (Witvliet, 2018). Gratitude literally changes your life for the better.
That experience fuels my commitment to teaching and learning about gratitude this holiday season. Holidays are full of magic and mayhem and I know that we can find holiday stress relief with gratitude. Let’s dive in together by first looking at the “why” before moving to the “how.” A final note, this is a very comprehensive gratitude guide. I encourage you to pick one or two of the strategies offered in the “how” section rather than tackling the whole thing. ‘A little at a time’ will increase the chances of the gratitude practices taking root and blooming in your family life.
Why Gratitude Can Gift Holiday Stress Relief
The holidays are both excitement and chaos, especially for parents juggling shopping, traditions, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the season. But guess what? Gratitude is like a superpower that helps shift our mindset, allowing us to tackle stress and find peace amidst the madness.
Gratitude’s 4 Areas of Assistance
- Gratitude Generates Happiness and Resilience to Stress
- Gratitude Enables Better Gift Giving and Receiving
- Gratitude Introduces and Increases Sustainability
- Gratitude Decreases Entitlement
Gratitude and mental well-being go together like wrapping paper and tape. When we practice gratitude, our overall happiness increases, and our stress levels decrease. Appreciating the good thing in front of you helps you at that moment and also makes the future brighter. The focus on the good keeps bad or hard things from taking over our view of the world. This is particularly important with all the things that arise during the holidays.
Gift-giving is often the best and worst part of the holiday season. We stress over finding the perfect gift, managing expectations, and sticking to a budget. But, try adding the gratitude lens. Instead of focusing on the price tag, focus on the thought behind the gift. As a recipient we can ask: Who gave it to us? What did the card say? What does that person mean to me? As the giver: Why are we buying this gift? What do we hope the recipient will experience as they open the package? Price and gift volume become secondary when gratitude helps us shift the focus from stuff to people.
Research shows that expressing gratitude for what we receive, no matter how big or small, helps us experience more positive emotions and strengthen relationships (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Focusing on gratitude with a side of gift giving helps emphasize the relationship. Even if the relationship is not significant, gratitude will still enhance the joy of receiving and increase our sense of well-being. Try this no prep, gratitude game you can play anywhere to help build and practice these skills.
Sustainability is a huge (and necessary) concern during the holidays. Between all the consumerism and the waste, it’s easy to feel guilty about overconsumption. I get caught in an advertising induced cycle of wanting more but then feeling guilty about buying too much and being a bad world citizen. But here’s the thing: gratitude can play a big part in more sustainable practices. When we’re grateful for the earth and its resources, we’re more likely to make eco-friendly choices. We choose gifts that are meaningful, sustainable, and less wasteful. When we pause to remember the ways we are blessed and gifted by the earth, our gratitude weighs in on our resulting choices. Do I choose a plastic toy, or is there a bamboo option? Which company will I purchase from?
Gratitude also contributes to sustainability because it shifts our perspective. We gain a view point that empowers us to consume less. When we focus on the people and things we already have, the drive to get more and more fades. Sustainability doesn’t mean we give up on new things, but it does ask us to consider before we purchase. Gratitude helps us look at underlying reasons for consumption. Are we buying to feel better? Am I trying to fit in with my social circle? Why do I want that new thing and does it fit my values to purchase it?
Entitlement is one of the biggest stressors, especially when kids expect extravagant gifts or experiences. In some moments, kids never seem to get enough to be happy. Gratitude helps reduce entitlement. When children learn to appreciate what they already have, they’re less likely to demand more. They recognize how much is already around them that can stop the “always more” feedback loop. Also, gratitude helps children focus on the relational aspects of the holidays—spending time together and cherishing the love behind the celebration—rather than just on material things.
Research has shown that kids who practice gratitude have higher levels of empathy and more positive social behavior (Froh et al., 2011). Teaching gratitude is a great way to help kids manage their expectations and appreciate the true meaning of the season. Christmas provides the perfect opportunity to practice. I find the volume of practice opportunities tiring, but it is a “deep end of the pool” chance to learn the skill!
How To Get Gratitude for Holiday Stress Relief
Hopefully, you join me in the conviction that gratitude gifts holiday stress relief, but how do we get that gratitude into our lives? I have easy-to-implement strategies, including free printables, that I use with my own family to teach gratitude and integrate it into everyday life. I am adding gratitude into our family’s routine. The actual result has been less holiday stress, fewer tantrums, less night waking, and a shift from “my Christmas list” to what I can give to others.
Practical Ways to Teach and Learn Gratitude
Start With Yourself: Model Gratitude
Children are like little mirrors—they pick up on everything we do, especially our behavior. Research shows that if you want your kids to express gratitude, they first need to see gratitude from those around them. (Froh et al., 2011). When you consistently manifest gratitude, their thankful spirit will grow.
- Verbalize Gratitude: Throughout the day, make a point to express what you’re thankful for, even in small moments. For example, say things like, “I’m so grateful for this cup of tea,” or “I’m thankful for you.” Or, “I am so thankful to be doing errands with you.”
- Gratitude Journals: Start a gratitude journal and share your entries with your children. This helps show them that gratitude is a personal practice that can be meaningful at any age.
- Gratitude Texts and Notes: I find it very hard to utilize habits like a journal, so I send thank-you text messages daily. As I type them, I dictate out loud so my kids both hear and see what thank you can look like.
Create a Daily Gratitude Practice
To help gratitude truly take root, it’s important to make it a consistent part of your family’s routine. Studies show that regular gratitude practices can boost well-being, improve relationships, and reduce stress (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Simple daily rituals can shift the focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in our lives.
- Gratitude Journals for Kids: Encourage kids to draw or write about something they’re thankful for each day. Keep it simple—just one entry per day will help establish a regular habit. If they don’t have good pen control, buy a big book of stickers that a child can peruse until they find a representation of their thankful feeling.
- Gratitude at Dinner: Make it a tradition to begin with gratitude. This fosters connection and encourages reflection on the good things in life. Here is a free Printable that gives phrases, prayers, and ideas for faith based or non-religious ways to begin this practice.
- Gratitude On-The-Go: Create a new habit. Every time you pass a landmark on your drive to and from an activity or errand, name something or someone you are grateful for. Pass the first stop light and say “I am thankful for _____.”
Encourage Gratitude Through Giving
Gratitude and generosity are connected. Teaching children the importance of giving provides a real-time gratitude “practice ground.” When children focus on giving rather than receiving, they experience the joy of making someone else happy. This adds layers to their understanding of what it means to receive a gift, giving them an appreciation for the whole ritual of giving and receiving. Research shows that gratitude can increase empathy and prosocial behavior, such as helping others (McCullough et al., 2001). Gift giving, whether it’s your time, energy, or things, helps grow a person’s understanding and capacity for gratitude.
- Volunteer Together: Get your family involved in community service. Whether it’s helping at a food bank, donating toys, or helping a neighbor, these experiences teach the value of giving and help kids understand how fortunate they are. When I hear about someone having a hard time, my kids and I bake something and drop it on their front porch.
- Random Acts of Kindness: Encourage your kids to do something nice for others—a simple thank-you card, a thoughtful gesture, or a helping hand for a sibling. Discuss how these acts make both the giver and the receiver feel appreciated.
- Write A Note: Any one can write a note. In this digital age, even a simple note feels very special, maybe the best gift that a person might receive. Even young ones can tell someone what feel thankful for, or like about the other person. A sibling or grown up can write it down for them. I made a simple, fun Printable Christmas Thank You Card (found at bottom of the page) activity you families and friends can do together. The whole process can take 10 minutes or hours depending on the stamina and artistic inclinations of your crew.
Acknowledge and Celebrate Gratitude
Reinforcing grateful behavior helps it stick. Acknowledging and celebrating gratitude encourages children to continue practicing it as an important value. Research shows that positive reinforcement increases the likelihood that children will continue the behavior (Kamins & Dweck, 1999).
- Gratitude Rewards: Celebrate when your children expresses gratitude. Praise them with comments like, “I love how you appreciated that gift,” or “It’s so kind of you to be thankful for your friend,” or “I am so thankful for your thank you!”
- Grace And Courtesy: Explain that saying thank you is a common courtesy. Share that by noticing the work and words that others gift us and the world around us, that we participate in filling the world with more grace. Showing our gratitude for others in words and actions makes the world a better place.
- Gratitude Celebrations: Occasionally hold a “gratitude celebration” where each family member shares something they’re thankful for. This can be a fun part of a family gathering or holiday tradition.
By making gratitude a part of your family’s routine, you not only reduce holiday stress but also help your children develop a lasting sense of appreciation and contentment. Teaching gratitude requires patience and consistency, but the benefits are immeasurable: stronger relationships, improved emotional well-being, and a more meaningful, peaceful holiday season. Start small, stay consistent, and watch as gratitude transforms your family’s holiday experience—and beyond. Would you mind dropping a comment below to help inspire other families? For more support towards happy, low stress holidays, check out this article. It is full of resources on how to teach your kids emotional health skills that lead to a calmer, happier holiday for all.
Christmas Thank You Card Activity
Instructions: Choose a Christmas Card Background you or your kids like and print it. Then, look over the different Christmas Printable sheets. Once you find your favorite, print them. Have the artist color or decorate their favorite image, then cut it out. After its cut out, paste it to the front of the card. Finally, write your message of gratitude inside. (Sample)
Christmas Cards
Image Sheets
Gratitude Affirmations and Prayers
Reference Material for Gratitude Helping Holiday Stress Relief
Witvliet, C. vanO. (2018). Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states. Hope College Faculty Publications, 1464.
Froh, J. J., Sefick, W. D., & Emmons, R. A. (2011). Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being. Journal of School Psychology, 49(6), 437–454.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.
McCullough, M. E., Kilpatrick, S. D., Emmons, R. A., & Larson, D. B. (2001). Is gratitude a moral affect? Psychological Bulletin, 127(2), 249–266.
Source: Kiken, L. G., Kersevich, C. S., & Borman, A. (2015). Mindfulness and gratitude: Enhancing well-being in children and adults. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 45(7), 357–367.
Kamins, M. L., & Dweck, C. S. (1999). Person versus process praise and criticism: Implications for contingent self-esteem. Developmental Psychology, 35(3), 835–847.
Prayers Printable: 1. Public Domain 2. Chabard.org 3. Public Domain 4. Megan Shoup 5. Public Domain 6. Megan Shoup 7. Public Domain.
Gratitude Phrases Printable: All phrases are Public Domain.