Do you ever get the feeling like you have to “prove” the value of the faith you are trying to pass on to your kids? Like, the pillars of your belief aren’t inherently valuable enough, so we have to convince our kids why they matter? Are you running, hard, into a metaphorical wall as you contemplate explaining Easter to kids?
Easter is fast approaching and I realized my kids are going to start asking questions. After all, we do out of the ordinary activities and use a lot of strange words! Resurrection doesn’t often come up in the daily grind. As I thought about these incoming discussions, I noticed that all my mental explanations began from a place of defense. They ‘sounded’ like, “This is all really true, and here’s why,” or “This is important because…” I felt slapped in the face by the wishy-washy nature of those conversation openers. Their tone and stance inherently communicates that this faith must be defended. It says that our beliefs aren’t strong enough on their own, so we have to prop them up.
Why It Feels Hard to Explain Easter to Kids
Why are parents struggling to have faith conversations with their kids? I don’t have peer-reviewed studies providing the answers, but after many conversations with parents across the country, I’ve noticed a few trends. First, many parents have an aversion to indoctrination. (Which I believe is a good thing!) We wonder, how do we educate our kids about faith without indoctrinating them? And, we don’t have an answer. Second, many parents have complicated, often painful relationships with their own faith institutions from childhood and early adulthood. As a result, they are deeply leery of putting their own kids in similar situations. Third, disillusionment with current actions of some faith institutions has caused many of us to avoid discussions, or even contact involving church or organized religion.
What about you? Can you identify the sources of your hesitation when it comes to teaching faith to your kids? Do you know what is tangling your efforts as you attempt to put belief into words?
The Tension in Teaching Faith to Your Kids
All of these conversations with parents activated a dissonant chord within me. My first great leap into adulthood involved a college degree in ministry, followed by a four-year graduate program where I earned a Master of Divinity (a multi-disciplined professional degree that trains pastors and leaders in the Christian tradition through internships and classes in theology, biblical interpretation, original languages, church history, leadership, education, and a lot more). I’ve spent nine years of my life studying to participate in this Christian tradition. And still, I step into conversations with my kids with hesitation and a lack of certainty.
Before I present a potential way forward, I ask that you hear this:
- The best way forward is not inauthentic. If you have questions, which we all do if we’re honest, don’t lie to your kids and say it’s all buttoned up and easy.
- The way forward is not rigid. There is no one “right way,” and insisting otherwise is some of what has gotten us into this societal faith quandary.
- Moving forward, we must be willing to hold tensions like this: The truth and fact of God is indisputable, but my grasp will never be sufficient to explain this entirely. God was, God is, and God will be but my understanding is not. A sturdy, authentic faith calls and responds to these truths. Some things I can explain, and some things will always remain mystery. My ability to prove and defend is not what makes something true or false. (While simultaneously acknowledging that grasp & understanding can affect “user experience.”)
How to Talk to Kids About Easter and Faith
My goal with this article is not to solve or even resolve these tight tensions. In fact, I believe the only option toward that end is personal wrestling with where we’ve been and where we are sensing an invitation from God to move. I want to aid you as you explain Easter to your kids. Then, with the skills you glean, keep having conversations that help you step into the role entrusted to you—helping steward the soul and spirit of the tiny humans you love.
Here are some key things to keep in mind when talking to kids about faith:
- Start with what you know. Share the basics of your faith with honesty and openness.
- Be honest about places and things you don’t understand. It’s okay to admit there are things you don’t have all the answers for.
- Make sure you keep some things concrete. People NEED pillars to construct their worldview and faith. I’m sure you’ve played blocks with your kids. Ever tried to add the roof on a building when your kid refused to put supports on all four sides?
- Keep it age-appropriate. Tailor your message to your children’s developmental level.
- View this as the beginning, not the end. These conversations are ongoing, not a one-time “lesson.”
- Train them to Live with Mystery. Kids can handle more abstract thinking and “gray areas” than we often believe. Help them grow these necessary skills. Especially in the area of “both-and” thinking rather than “all-or-nothing” thought patterns. What might this look like? God is alive, and at work, and I don’t yet understand all the details. As opposed to, “God did it, the Bible says it, I believe it, end of discussion.”
- It’s okay (even important) to seek out help. Religious teachers, parents, friends, elders, books, and beyond—glean information, then sort out what you want to pass on and what doesn’t ring true for your family. None of us knows everything, after all!
For some additional resources, you can go straight to the Bible. I particularly like Luke’s version of things, so I’ve linked it here. Who doesn’t need a refresher after all?
My Simple Way to Explain Easter to Kids
An unexpected outworking of this article is that I “wrote the script” that I am using with my own kids. The results? I have had really great conversations with my kids and I feel settled that our family faith formation is on solid ground. I am including the here in case you find it helpful in your own process.
“God loves you. God loves me. God loves each person in the world and each atom of the physical creation. And, we live in this world that God made. Not only did God make it, but God keeps it going every single day. What is all this Easter business? At Easter, we full stop and remember that God loves the world. God is involved every day with the world. One way that God is vitally part of our lives and the life around us is the way that Jesus lived on earth, died, and came back to life again. At Easter, we say God, thanks for loving us, we want to be part of that love.”
As I review my “script” the theologically trained part of myself can’t help but hear the criticism from experts. But, I am learning to decrease its volume. While this is imperfect, it is honors both my values and the authentic head and heart space I currently inhabit.
Faithful Parenting: Holding the Tensions
I found the best summation of these musings somewhere back in my memory banks from seminary training. One of the things I was taught, and increasingly hold as true, is this: We are not our own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death, to our faithful Savior Jesus Christ. 1
How does this belonging help us explain Easter to kids? Well, those simple yet profound words remind us that these conversations are not all “on us.” We do not have to get the words “just right or our children are going to be set adrift in the nothingness of apathy and never come to know God,” because each of us first belongs to God. I fully believe God entrusts these kids to us, but they are not “ours.” Just as I am a child of God, permanently affixed in God’s household, so too are our kids. We are responsible to do this parenting thing well (DO NOT read perfectly!). But, we are not doing this on our own.
As you engage in your own faith wanderings and wonderings, trust that God is sturdy. It is not our belief that makes God “real” and so, God does not diminish with questions and confusion. Know that God is present, engaged and loves both you and your kids. On this journey of parenting, you and God walk together.
- Question and Answer 1, Part 1 of Heidelberg Catechism ↩︎